For those who are new to this blog, I have not been shy
about claiming superpowers in the past. (I believe the last time I did so was
because I was wearing a dark coat and there was a vent somewhere, which
naturally made me Batman. Who, come to think of it, doesn’t really have a
superpower, unless being a billionaire counts. So maybe I’m being more shy than
I should be.) Historically, therefore, the
bar hasn’t been set too high for such things.
Only now, I am nigh on certain that I can control the
weather.
Rain, to be specific. As many people reading this would
be aware, 2014 has thus far been what might colloquially be described as “wet”.
This, for those unfamiliar with weather systems, is typically due to water
falling from the sky in the form of rain, and it doing so consistently until we
no longer worry about the lack of open air swimming pools.
Rain has been an ever present danger for many people
these days, and I apologise for not using my superpowers to better effect.
Because in all the runs I have done to date, it has not rained once whilst I’ve
been out. I was chalking this up to chance before now, but at this point,
fourteen runs in, I’m upgrading it to magic.
I do have a minor issue with coming up with my superhero
name, though. Rain Man is the most accurate, but has already been taken by
Dustin Hoffman. In theory, since weather is a broader category than rain,
Weather Man should sound superior, but that makes it sound like my only
abilities are standing in front of something green and pointing, like a visitor
at the Hulk museum. Climate Man sounds like somebody teachers make up to teach
small children about why they should walk rather than drive (due to the dual
reasons of this saving the planet, and also them not being old enough to drive,
apart from those little cars with the holes at the bottom that you push with
your feet, which is fine).
Coming back to running, today’s schedule was 8 minutes of
running, 5 minutes of walking, and then another 8 minutes running. It’s started
to take on the traditional shape, whereby the first run is fine, almost
manageable, and I feel like I can go further and further each morning; and then
towards the end, everything is collapsing in and I feel like it might be worth
getting rid of my lungs just to have an excuse to stop running.
Having starting fairly well, with a pleasant 8 minute jog
where I felt mildly energetic afterwards (even giving a cheerful “Morning!” to
a jogger going the other way), I was feeling quietly optimistic about the
second half, even though I did scoff mockingly at Laura’s claim that, since I
did the first 8 minutes, I should be able to do the second 8 minutes by doing
exactly the same thing. By extrapolating this logic I should be able to run
literally forever.
After about 2 or 3 minutes of the second 8 minute run, I
was definitely finding a counterexample to this theory. With four minutes to go
(where Laura instructed me that I was halfway through the run) I was already absolutely
exhausted and ready to stop. How I got through those final four minutes I have
no idea.
Running has definitely been an interesting experience
thus far, and I realised today that I’m over halfway through the plan. I’m
closer to the end than the start now (although I’ve strongly suspected that
ever since the first run, to be honest; it’s good to have it official).
Don’t ask me how I intend to go on Friday, where
essentially the run is “Do exactly what you did today, except replace the 5
minute recovery walk with 4 minutes of running”. Doesn’t seem like a fair trade
to me.
The Silver Suffer (I had a request for a superhero-themed
running-based pun, this was the best I could do in the circumstances).
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