Week 4. I did not really expect to get to week 4, to be
honest, I thought I would have given up and gone back to bed long before now.
Especially given today was cold; it was 2 degrees, with wind-chill making it
feel like minus Norway outside – it’s the first time I was shivering during the
warm-up walk (which, incidentally, I never feel warm after. Running for an
extended period of time – that makes me warm! But they never call it a warm-up
run. Come to that, I always feel warm in the bath or the shower or in bed. Why
can’t they be my warm-up, rather than the one thing in the morning that doesn’t
actually make me warm?)
Laura had some fun plans for me today. For those who have
been reading these past few entries in a state of confusion (e.g. Alaska – I’d
be confused if I was supposedly in the US but every time I tried to get
anywhere else there was a Canada in the way), Laura is the disembodied voice
that speaks to me whilst I run.
To make that sound slightly less odd, she is on an iPod.
(Well, her voice is – although if she was standing on my iPod that would
explain why running is so difficult, I’m moving for two). It’s part of a 9-week
program that intends to get you running 5k, or destroy you in the process. I’m
unsure at the moment which way it’s going to go for me.
Anyway, the scheduled run for week 4 involves, with
walking breaks in between, running for three, then five, then three, then five
minutes. For the non-mathematicians amongst you, that’s sixteen minutes in
total. For the mathematicians amongst you, that’s still sixteen minutes in
total (arithmetic is not subjective). In either case, this is more commonly
known as “quite a lot of running”.
I did manage to finish it. The route I picked did involve
another hill (I was sure Kenilworth was flat-ish before; I think somebody’s
been raising the terrain when I wasn’t looking) to run all the way up – see last
entry for what my thoughts on hills are – but I managed to survive that. I was
halfway up when she told me I was halfway through my run, but in my mind I’d
been running since approximately the dawn of time and was very keen to stop for
a bit. She was having none of this.
Now the three-minute runs were not too bad; given that
they were the killer last week, I worry that Laura’s gradually tricking me into
being fit and active. I’m not sure how I feel about this.
On the subject of feelings, I’m starting to get a bit
worried about Laura. At the end of the warm-up walk, she stuck around for far
longer than she needed to, telling me I’d done well, telling me to drink water,
telling me what to do if I get a stitch, telling me to look up stuff on the
Internet if I needed something to help. She even said “I’m going to have to say
bye now” and then kept talking – it was like a “You hang up! No, you hang up!”
scenario.
I’m starting to worry that Laura’s forcing me to run
ridiculous distances is the equivalent of primary school where a girl pushes
you over in the playground because she secretly likes you. (This never happened
to me at primary school, I was very good at staying on my feet). I worry that I’m
leading her on – I do see her three mornings a week. I’m scheduled to see her
on the morning of Valentine’s Day, for goodness sake! I’ve never been in the
situation where I might be about to break the heart of a podcast…
Today was supposed to be the first run that I did in my
nice new fluorescent running jacket – unfortunately this wasn’t delivered over
the weekend. According to Amazon they did attempt delivery twice, to which I
suggest that they didn’t try very hard. Call me a traditionalist, but I feel
that it’s hard to claim that you’ve genuinely tried twice to deliver a package if
in neither case did you actually, say, ring the doorbell. Maybe I’m expecting
too much, perhaps I should just stand outside and wait for them? Or maybe go to
a building where they keep all the merchandise they sell, pick it out for
myself, and take it to them for them to scan and charge me there? That could
catch on, actually, I should patent that.
My housemate did lend me a running jacket and I felt
quite professional wearing it. I look forward to my one arriving, though, so
that I can be running in a highlighter yellow jacket which will be visible to
passing motorists and low-flying aircraft.
Hurry Potter
(Thanks to George for contributions to this week’s
sign-offs).
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